Research institutions spend hundreds of millions trying to quantify everything. Now, I work in neuropsychology, so quantifying the mind is what my colleagues and I attempt to do. This profession has EEGs, functional MRIs, PET scans, SPECT scans and psychometrics of all kinds and other things for determining your state of mind. But the reality is that everything that is REAL in terms of quality of life is immeasurable! Sure we can say that you will most likely be happier in a room that is around 21 C as opposed to a room that is 0 C and that if you don’t get to drink adequate water or eat adequate food, you will become unhappy. We can measure your neurotransmitters (serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine, cortisol, GABA, etc.) and make an assumption as to how you might be feeling. We can even look at your brain maps and determine that you may be OCD or depressed or happy, but we CANNOT determine how that FEELS to you. The reality is that actual quality of life truly is not measurable. And it is life that your whole BEING-NESS is based on – and we can’t measure it.
No one can measure how your depression or happiness truly feels to you, how your love connection with your family and friends leaves them feeling when they are with you, or the degree to which you might inspire a friend or your child to take a fork-in-the-road in their lives toward a career or mission to help the world in some way – or to take better care of their health. Ninety percent of real communication is non-verbal. People can simply see you in a grocery line or baggage terminal and be inspired by your presence. Your glance, body language, tone of voice, posture, or breathing affects everyone around in subtle ways.
I teach my clients with trauma and depression just how easily they can influence others – any time, any place. Many of my clients believe that they are surrounded by so many depressed and unhappy people just like themselves and that society in general has fallen to pieces (just like them). So, I have them go into crowded places (shopping malls, etc.) and think of all the worst things in their lives while a friend records how many people make eye-contact or smile back at them. It’s generally about four eye-contacts and one smile/hundred people. Then, as life-coaching progresses, I send them back thinking about all the wonderful things in their lives and how grateful they are for those things and to put on a smile. Now their friend records about 40 eye-contacts and 20 smiles/hundred. They suddenly realize that they are surrounded by quite a few happy people, and that they were the cause of that! This empowers them to regain a sense of control within their lives.
We have millions of years of evolution designed for us to know what is right and good and wholesome and it’s the best measure of all. Sooooooo, that which makes your life ALIVE and is of MOST importance to you is really not yet measurable by anyone else but you. In making healthy choices and trusting with your intrinsic wisdom, it will guide you throughout your life. And that’s the best place to be!
by Dave Siever, C.E.T. -